All I'll Ever Want
by Deonne
Summary: As little kids we played dress ups, imagining what it was like all grown up. As teens we made mistakes, shaping us for the adult we would become. In college we became those adults. What nobody told us was that we still have so much to learn. From the big to little things that made us who I am. All I'll Ever Want.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to the new and improved "All I'll Ever Want". As I said before, I am re-posting this story to FFN and maybe another fandom site. The difference is that I've grown as a writer and I've gained the help of the fabulous **_**Lovely Black Butterfly**_**. When I first wrote this, I never knew that I'd fall in love with writing as much as I have, nor that I'd still be part of this fandom for as long as I have. **

**This story will have adult themes both the fun kind and not so fun kind. There are quite a few lemons in here, and if this is not what you enjoy, I won't hold it against you to leave the story from right here. There are also some themes that may trigger some people, and for these, I will add a note stating so.**

**There is no update schedule for this story, yes it is a re-write but it doesn't mean it's complete. My real life will take precedence over my writing. I will try to not have large gaps between posting, but please do not be upset if there is a week or two between updates.**

**Disclaimer****: Sadly I do not own the rights to Twilight, nor have any affiliation to the author or studio in which do own the rights to. I do however own the books and the movies. Now with that unfortunate note let's get on with the story.**

Maybe driving all night wasn't my best idea in the world. Okay I know I was the one that thought that I would get there before the storm hit Washington, but surely I can be forgiven for forgetting exactly how old my truck was. With all the work that Jake had done on it, rebuilding the motor… and all of the problems that came up, he was there to fix it with no questions asked as to what I had done to it. Even Edward knew that my old truck was my pride and joy, so he gave up on trying persuading me to upgrade from my metal monster to some plastic toy.

"Stupid Bella, always have to be so independent. Well here's your reward." I grumbled to myself looking out the windscreen.

I was always doing things for myself, even before I had gone to College in Texas State. After growing up in dreary Forks, I needed some sun, and I was inevitably going to the right place. I had met so many friends there, each one I am sure I'll have till the day I die.

I wasn't going to ask Edward to drive with me; sure he would have done so, but it wouldn't have been right. Edward's a great guy, we both grew up in Forks, but really didn't know each other until we left for college. At first, it was because we both didn't know anyone at school, but it did grow from there. I loved him, but there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I didn't realize how—comfortable-I guess you could say until we talked about what happens after school had finished.

With the rain pouring down outside of the truck I was able to keep my wits with me, so much so that I even saw a hitch-hiker a few miles ahead of me.

"Are they crazy or something?" I said to no-one.

As I got closer, I realized it was a man, not much older than I was. Wearing nothing but a simple white t-shirt and jeans; Cowboy hat and boots to match. He was a sight for any woman to drool over. I was sure I wasn't the first, and I wouldn't be the last.

"What the hell, maybe he'll keep you awake long enough to find a place to sleep?" I thought as I pulled up to get his attention.

"Hey, it's raining like crazy out there. Do you want a lift?" I called over the rain as it hit the cab of the truck.

I watched as he ran around the cab and climbed in, his mumbled thanks all I heard as the door closed behind him. I didn't even think of precisely what this would look like or what my father would think. Growing up with the chief of police as your father and knowing that you're going against everything he taught you can smack you in the face sometimes.

"Name's Jasper ma'am." He spoke a few minutes after I'd turned back onto the road. His Texan twang was somewhat softer than what I'd gotten used to after spending the last four years surrounded by friends.

"Bella.", I glanced quickly over to him as we stopped at a red light in the small town we were currently driving through, "Is there anywhere, in particular, you're going?"

"Not really, just 'til whenever you want to drop me off somewhere." I watched as he took his hat off, running his hand through his hair.

I wasn't sure if I'd been struck stupid or just lost all brain function. Jasper it seemed was gorgeous. His blonde hair hung limply around his face, defined cheekbones and what could be a few days growth along his jaw. It wasn't until I heard him chuckle that I turned back to the road and saw that the light had turned green. I was sure my face has skipped pink and went straight to scarlet. Turning on the radio I decided that there was no way I was going to say another word, I'd probably blurt out something utterly ridiculous.

For the next hour, I concentrated on driving, and not taking quick glances at the man beside me. The only problem with driving in a quiet truck was that you couldn't fight exhaustion. It wasn't until the fourth yawn left my mouth in a matter of minutes that I knew pulling over was the best option. Having driven this route multiple times, I knew a smallish town was coming up with a relatively good priced hotel. Glancing over at the man beside me, I sighed.

"Um, I'm gonna pull over just up ahead. There's a little motel there." I watched as he jumped slightly before he nodded that he'd heard me.

Driving the last few miles, I pulled into the empty lot, happy that I'd made good time. It wasn't until I started climbing out of the cab that I noticed that Jasper had already gotten out and headed towards the road, thumb already out. I wasn't prepared for the swirl of emotions that ran through me. Sadness, pity, and disappointment warred as I looked between the man moving further and further away from me and the motel lobby.

"Jasper," I yelled, "Did you want to get a room?"

I felt like an idiot just standing there in the pouring rain staring at a complete stranger and offering to share a room. Said stranger was just watching me, no doubt wondering if indeed, there were people out there like the crazy woman yelling to him. What felt like hours –though probably only a few seconds – I watched him give a nod and start his walk back to where I was standing.

Not wanting to get drenched any further I headed towards the motel lobby, and I could have kicked myself. Sitting behind the reception desk was an unbelievably stunning woman wearing the tightest and probably smallest top the motel stocked for the staff; while I was standing there looking like a drowned rat. My friends would be laughing their asses off if they could see me right now.

"Room for two?" she asked, her eyes bouncing from me to where the man behind me stood. I swear she pulled her top down further as she looked at Jasper.

I could only nod as she turned towards the computer screen and began typing.

"Well, we only have one room left, sorry. I doubt you'll have any problems with the other guests since they've all left for some bucks night fun." All she was missing was the bubble-gum popping, and I would have been back in high school.

All I could hear was the hum of the lights overhead as I filled out the paperwork and handed over my license and bank card.

"Okay, so you're in room 18. Enjoy your stay." Passing the card over to Jasper as she completely ignored me standing there.

Silently, we made our way towards the room. It wasn't until the door opened that I realized there was a reason why this room was the only one available. There was only one bed… and it took up nearly the whole room. What made it more obvious that this was something along the lines of a honeymoon suite was that the bed was covered in red silk-like sheets and covers. Hell, there was even a few hearts shaped pillows on there to really sell the mood.

Internally groaning, I offered him the first shower while I headed back out into the rain to grab a few bags with clothes and food in them. I was not heading towards the lobby to face that woman again. Walking back into the room, I was hit with the sound of water running, and realizing that when I pulled over, he didn't have any bags with him. Knowing that he was butt-ass naked only a door away was not helping. I couldn't stop imagining what he looked like without clothes.

I was still standing there minutes later when the water shut off and the door opened. My life was not some _Thelma and Louise_ spin-off, men did not stand in the doorways with steam surrounding them in only a towel. And they sure as hell didn't stand there rubbing another towel roughly through their hair while I stood there trying not to lick them dry. My eyes were watching as the drops of water were running down his chest and soaking into said towel.

The clearing of his throat brought me back to reality, guys like that are the dangerous kind. Sexy and completely worthy of losing your mind, but can definitely burn your eyes _and other places_ if you're not careful.

"Ah, there's some food and drinks in the bag. Help yourself," I mumbled, as I looked anywhere but his direction.

Grabbing my bag and keeping my head down, I shuffled somewhat passed him into the bathroom. The first thing I noticed was that his clothes were hanging over the towel rack drying out… the second thing was that there was no underwear in sight. Either the man didn't care about slightly damp balls, or he doesn't believe in the small pieces of fabric.

Groaning I turned the shower on, waiting only a few seconds before stripping down and stepping into the small recess. The water was amazing, and the pressure worked wonders on my tense muscles. I couldn't help but close my eyes and relax into the water pounding on my shoulders and neck.

The images of the previous occupant wrapped only in a towel flashed before my eyes, and the knowledge that he was on the other side of the door had me squeezing my thighs together. I was unbelievably turned on. There had been enough times in the past few years that I knew that unless I did something about it, there was no way I was going to get any sleep.

Soaping up my body I let my mind and hands wander. I didn't need any extra help, any fantasies to get me going. Just the thought of the man in the other room was enough. With one hand cupping my breast and the other moving between my legs. I let my imagination run free of what was hidden under that towel. Of what it would be like to actually follow the trails of the water drops as they slid down his very toned stomach and abs.

Having to bite my lip to stop from crying out, I felt as the muscles clenched as my legs shook slightly. It wasn't until I was gasping for breath that I realized he might have heard me anyway. Quickly rinsing off and turning off the water and drying off. I pulled on my underwear and shirt, before looking for the sweats that I was sure I'd packed into the bag. It wasn't until I got to the bottom of the bag that I realized that I'd packed my high school track shorts instead. The same track shorts that I hadn't worn except to sleep in since I grew hips and an ass.

"Everything okay in there?" I jumped as he knocked on the door, I didn't realize that I'd been standing in the bathroom for so long.

Quickly I packed up my bag, stowing my dirty clothes in the plastic bag… at least I remembered to pack that. There was nothing left for me to do, and there was no way I was sleeping in the bathroom for the night. As I opened the door, I saw him quickly throwing away a bag of chips before making his way to the other side of the bed. His towel still firmly in place around his hips. Tossing my bag on the chair, I climbed into the bed. Scrambling for the remote, I switched on to the first show that was available.

I wasn't sure what time it was or what was still playing on the T.V., but I knew I fell asleep while he was awake. It was completely dark when I felt his arm lay across my stomach, his chest to my back. As I tried to move slightly, the arm tightened around me, as he snuggled closer to me. I expected to feel the towel on my legs from how we were laying… but all I felt was his thighs. It took all of two seconds for me to scoot back a little further with my ass to confirm my earlier thoughts.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he groaned as he tightened his arm around me once more.

Sleep was suddenly the last thing on my mind as I laid there wrapped in his arm, knowing that the only things between us were my underwear and shirt. I knew it was stupid, and honestly, I didn't think he'd do anything being a southern boy and all. Instead, I counted to a thousand before wriggling my ass a bit more, trying to make it like I was getting comfortable.

"Fuck, you're dangerous," he muttered into my hair, "Do you know what that does to a man like me?"

It was my turn to groan as he ground his hardening cock into my ass all the while pulling me closer.

"It took me nearly an hour to calm down enough to sleep, you know you talk in your sleep right? A gentleman knows how to ignore that, but then you had to start moaning and panting. Fuck…" his voice was gruff as he whispered in my hair.

I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. I knew there was no way he wouldn't realize I was trying to rub my thighs together, we were too close together for him not to feel even the slightest movement. Instead, I pushed back as I did what was needed to relieve the tension between my legs and in my stomach. I moaned loudly as my ass met once more with his cock, my pushing to his thrust.

"Tell me if you want me to stop." His words came out strained, his warm breath against my neck, and I was shaking my head before he could finish. "At any time you want this to stop, just say the words." I felt his hand around my waist creep under my shirt. His hand made slow trails up and down my stomach, stopping before he could touch either my breast or underwear.

His mouth made open-mouthed kisses, as his teeth nipped at my neck. With each pass of his hand on my torso, the kisses and nips became more urgent. Yet, when I tilted my head to give him more room to move his bites would lessen to more tender kisses. Want and frustration warring with the thoughts deep in the recesses of my mind. He was a relative stranger, a man I picked up on the side of the road only a few hours earlier. Morally I knew this to be wrong, but something about it, the need for him, felt right.

It wasn't just lust for a handsome man, nor was it some misguided need to tick off having a one-night-stand. It was something more, something I couldn't name even if I wanted to.

"Bella… do you want me to stop?" he asked once more, again, his words were strained. He didn't want to stop any more than I wanted him to. Shaking my head once more to his question. "Then stop thinking, just feel."

Slowly, he rolled me onto my back, his lips skimming my jaw until they met with mine. There was no tentative touch, no feeling the other out. As his hand rose up my chest to come to rest on the side of my face, I let myself do what he asked. Falling into the kiss, I felt something in me change. Not some ridiculous love at first sight that you hear and read in movies and trashy books. More I felt what I truly wanted.

I wanted to feel like I was needed, that I was wanted in every breath that my future partner took. I wanted to be kissed like each touch of our lips meant the world to them. I wanted to be held like I was both the most precious thing in their world and their equal at the same time. I wanted more than just to be loved, I wanted to be in love and to feel that same feeling with the man I would change my name for.

I felt as his hand once more travelled down to grab my shirt and began to bring it back up. I couldn't help but sigh as the roughened skin grazed my side, hands that had worked hard, that knew how to touch both softly and with force. As he pulled the shirt up over my head I had to bite my cheek, his gaze was stuck on my breasts. I knew I wasn't overly endowed, but I was more than happy with how he couldn't take his eyes off them. It wasn't until I watched his face tilt upwards that I couldn't help but giggle softly.

"Thank god, no Barbie Dolls here." He chuckled as he gripped one.

His mouth descending once more, nipping at my bottom lip as his hand tightened lightly around my breast. Lost in the kiss and the feel of his hand, I groaned as his mouth slowly trailed down my jaw, nipping at the sensitive skin just below my ear; before he moved further down. Opening my eyes, I watched as his lips parted and his tongue licked circles around my nipple. As his eyes darted up to mine the wicked glint in his stare, I felt as he blew gently. My back arched at the sudden temperature change.

Before my back hit the bed once more his lips wrapped around my nipple. I groaned as I grabbed hold of his head, fingers curling into his hair. I arched once more as I felt the slight bite of teeth only to be soothed by his tongue. Eyes closed I felt as he moved his hand over to the other breast. His fingers gently playing with the flesh, twirling circles to match the movement of his tongue.

After what felt like hours and minutes at the same time, I couldn't help but squirm as the feel of his body next to mine. To know that this man was butt-ass naked in bed with me, playing with my body like it was his favourite toy. I was beyond excited for what he could do to me. My hands left his hair and started tracing his back, I needed to feel him, to know he was real.

So wrapped up in the feel of his body, of the images I was creating in my head I couldn't help but jump slightly as his hand slid underneath my underwear. His finger slowly tracing my lips. Up and down-up and down until one single digit slipped between them, traced my entrance, and barely touching my clit. I knew I was wet, and that he would be able to feel how much I was enjoying his ministrations.

Slowly I felt as he teased the entrance, first with barely the tip of his finger. I could hear and feel him groan as he nipped at my breast. Gradually his finger entered me further and further. Each time I felt his other fingers run over my lower lips.

"Mmm… more please." I moaned as his finger slightly grazed my clit. My eyes snapped open when instead of more, I felt his finger and hand leave my underwear. I couldn't help but glare as he chuckled.

"Don't be mad, but these have to come off if you want more." He flicked the elastic of my panties.

It took one second for me to register what he said and did before my hips were up in the air waiting for him to take them off. I watched as his lips curved slightly, almost cockily at my actions. There was no way I was going to back down or step back from whatever this was. As he moved down my body, I watched as his muscles flexed with each movement. But what took my breath away was what was standing proudly between his legs.

I'd always hated when girls would talk about a man being hung like a horse, or thick as a tree branch. The idea alone would cause me to want to back away for my pussy's well-being. Yes, Jasper's size was intimidating but it was also reassuring that I was going to be able to walk tomorrow. My hand crept up his thigh as he finally stopped moving.

I hadn't even realized I'd sat up until my hand wrapped around his length. The smoothness belying the hardness of his cock. As my hand started pumping up and down, I noticed the veins that ran under the skin and the slight hook at the tip. As my hand moved, I watched as he slipped one of his hands down my inner thigh until it rested once more over the lips. He once again traced up and down the slit, slowly putting more and more pressure until one… then two fingers parted me.

Slowly we began a rhythm between our movements. For every time my hand rose, his fingers would push inside of me. Every time his fingers would come out, my hand would slowly glide down his shaft. Our eyes locked on one another's our movements sped up. I was panting as our speed increased, but threw my head back as his thumb began rocking against my swollen clit. My hips rocked against his movements as the tension grew until it washed over me.

He followed me as I threw my body back onto the bed. His mouth found my neck as his fingers continued to work through the orgasm he'd given me.

"God you're tight," he moaned against my skin as I finally felt the muscles inside me loosen around his fingers. "Are you ready?"

I could honestly say I'd never been one to watch a guy go down on me, I enjoyed it, but watching it was something I never did. But watching as he sucked his fingers, I couldn't help the shiver of anticipation that ran through me.

His hand parting my thighs wider, I watched as he came to kneel in-between my legs. His cock still standing tall. My eyes zoned in on his hand as he gripped himself tighter than I was, as he moved his hand up and down. Slowly he leaned forward, bracing himself with his elbow to the side of my head. His hand still holding his length started to rub it up and down my slit, using the natural lubricant before he gently began pushing into me.

Just as he did with his fingers, he started with short, shallow thrusts. As much as I wanted him to fill me, I was glad that he did, allowing me to gradually get used to his intrusion. Each gentle thrust had me feeling the full effect of my thoughts earlier. While I doubted I'd ever meet him again, the emotions and desires Jasper evoked in me were pure.

As we gradually found our rhythm my hands rose to his shoulders. Not to hold on, but to keep hold of the feeling of being wanted, of being desired by this man. I needed to physically imprint the feeling he created in me for how I wanted to feel in the future. I traced the muscles in his arms to remember the strength he had to hold himself there. The feel of his back as the muscles flexed with each thrust. The beat of his heart as a reminder that there were two people sharing this moment. The touch of his lips and how he could evoke many different emotions with those soft lips.

Even his ass as he pushed in and the power that he had in his thighs.

His hand came down to grab hold of my thigh, bringing it up to rest on his hips. We both moaned as he slid even further into me. His motions speeding up with the new angle of each movement.

"God, you feel amazing." He muttered, his voice a little breathy.

"Could say… oh god. Could say the same about you." I moaned as he hit a spot inside me I didn't' even know all that much about.

"Need you to cum sweetheart. You feel too good." He ground out as he began to move faster, hit harder and push further into me.

"Almost there, need you to touch Me." again the words barely left my mouth, and he was doing exactly as I needed him to.

His hand slipped in-between us, and I could hand sung operatic with how fast his movements had me chasing my second orgasm. Instead, I threw my head back and let the feeling of him, and what he was doing wash over me. I barely noticed as his movements lost its rhythm until I felt him push a little harder than previously.

We lay there for a few minutes before I felt him begin to soften inside of me. Both of us not really caring as we caught our breath. Running my hands once more up and down his back, the enormity of what we had done began to sink in. I had just had sex with a man I barely knew, and I was seemingly okay with it. I knew I would probably have second and third thoughts over and over again for the next few days. But again, I was okay with knowing that it would happen. It didn't cheapen the experience at all.

"I, um, need to clean up," I whispered as I tapped his shoulder.

I felt him nod his head before he pulled out of me and rolled over onto his back. I didn't look at him as I stood up, nor did I bother with grabbing my clothes as I made my way into the bathroom to clean myself up.

Looking into the mirror, I didn't see a real difference with who I was until I looked at my eyes. They were wide open and bright. I was exhausted but wide awake at the same time. My body felt relaxed and exhausted, it was an amazing feeling that I'd felt only a few times before.

As I made my way back into the room a few minutes later I found myself stopping in the doorway looking at the man who seemed passed out on the bed. The sheet laying half-hazardly across his waist and the towel he had wrapped around his waist now on the bed where I was laid only minutes ago.

"You gonna come to bed, or stand there all night?" he yawned as he opened one eye.

Making my way back to the bed, I climbed in beside him. Before I had even gotten comfortable he had pulled me beside him, his arm wrapping around my shoulder. I listened to his breath as he slowly fell asleep. I promised myself that I wouldn't settle for anything that I thought was less than those feelings, those wants I had felt earlier.

I woke up a few hours later, the sun slowly lighting the room. Pulling my phone off the table beside the bed, I knew it was time to start making the final few hours' drive to the small town of Forks and to what could possibly happen.

Not wanting to just leave without saying anything, I looked around for something to leave a message for him.

_Jasper,_

_Thank you for last night. Not just for what we did, but for what you made me realize I wanted and needed. You made me realize I wanted more, and how that more was something I deserved. You hold a special place in my heart, you changed my thoughts and feelings to what I wanted. You, a complete stranger, had been able to make me feel like I was the world. _

_I hope that one day, the woman you settle down with cherishes everything you do for her. And if not, know that someone out there does. _

_Bella._

Grabbing my bags, I headed towards the door, not looking back. This wasn't a walk of shame or anything like that. I felt more at peace with everything that had taken place last night then what happened two months ago. Taking a deep breath I headed for my truck, throwing my bags in the cab before quickly heading towards the lobby.

Organizing with the day manager that the person in the room would be allowed a late checkout and any damages that may occur would be charged to my account, I once more climbed into the truck and headed home.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Twilight or the rights to it. I do own a very interesting mind and a laptop... SM characters should be afraid. **

**A very big Thank You to the _Lovely Black Butterfly_... the amount of errors I sent her. SMH. If I could I'd send a bottle of wine next time but I doubt it would get through customs.**

**Now remember, this is a re-write of an old fic. I have taken a few things out and will be adding them at different times. This one is one of the shortest chapters of the entire story so don't fret, you will be given bigger chapters later on in the story. **

**On to the story, last we saw of Bella she was driving away from Jasper and the Twilight motel.**

They say you can never really go back home, and in a way that's true. When I pulled up to my parents' house nearly two months ago, I tried to jump back into the girl I was before I left. I failed epically. Having gone from such an independent woman to have to live by a curfew set by a very authoritarian father was hard. The strict rules he had set when I was a teen worked then, but at 24 years old, they felt stifling and constricting.

I had met up with friends I'd gone to school with, some who had started families or stayed in town after graduation. Being thrust into that high school clique just became juvenile. I didn't care growing up who was sleeping with who, and I still didn't care. I was constantly asked why I had broken up with Edward before school finished, how I wouldn't have had to work if I married a doctor.

The reality of small-town life and one of the reasons why I went so far away for school were still there. I wanted more than a small-town life and to be a trophy wife. I'd met up with Edward a few times while he was home before he had to go back to Texas to start his internship. The rumors that ran wild of how we were suddenly back together, I was pregnant with his child, or we were planning our wedding. It was ridiculous; how who holding a door open so I could get inside the diner could suddenly change my plans for the future.

What was worse was sitting at home with no job or any possibilities of one. I'd sent out my resume to so many newspapers, crisis centers, and hospitals but I'd heard nothing positive back. While a few had put my information in their databanks for possible future positions, it didn't help with my situation. Eventually, I'd started to widen my search. After talking to Char –who'd offered me the spare room in her home if need be –I'd started sending out letters of interest to places in Texas.

It didn't help that I'd gotten a cold or something either. I hadn't been able to shake it. At first, it was just a simple cough, and I'd gotten over it in a week, only to catch some virus going around. Constantly sleepy and crabby, my body sore from doing nothing. The change in weather wasn't helping much either. Summers in Washington was like winter in Texas. I'd known I'd gotten spoiled by the sun and heat, having to add layers to keep warm.

I found myself sitting in the waiting area of the clinic attached to the hospital after spending the last three nights yacking in the toilet. I thought it might have been the questionable food I'd eaten when I went into Port Angeles on Monday for an interview. But throwing up from food poisoning for three days straight had worried mom and meant that my father would be on my ass if I didn't do something about it.

I was surrounded by pregnant women who were exchanging horror stories, kids with runny noses and upset stomachs. There was even a guy that had shot himself with a nail gun for cripes sake. I wanted to go back home to bed and just sleep. I also didn't really want to see the doctor on duty.

Dr. Cullen happened to be the most sought after doctor in the town, mainly by mothers who wanted to look at the hot doctor. While I spent most of my time in his clinic for something I'd done to myself in the name of scholastic sport, the waiting room always seemed to double in patients when he was on duty.

Dr. Cullen also happened to be Edward's father. Carlisle and Esme Cullen had been the ultimate parents. While Esme stayed at home and sat on nearly every committee, there was, Carlisle was saving lives and swatting away advances from patients and nurses alike. It wasn't until Edward, and I had gotten together that I realized most of us had idealized their relationship and family. They argued and laughed just like any other family. And just like any other dad, Carlisle left dirty socks lying around, and Esme burnt dinner when she was busy.

In a way, mine and Edward's relationship ending hurt them more than it did either of us. We grew apart, our interests separated and we both had more friends apart then we did together. I think it hurt both of us, that we'd become friends with slight benefits then lovers we once were, and neither of us realized it. Once we realized how much we'd grown apart the decision to separate was easy. We did talk about being friends, but we both knew it would be a while before it stopped being awkward.

"Bella Swan." I cringed as the nurse called my name.

Jessica Stanley wasn't my friend in school. She'd made it her mission to harass and annoy me the minute I'd grown boobs, and Mike Newton had noticed. It didn't matter that I'd detested the guy since the third grade. It didn't help that she and her mother were the biggest gossips in town. It would only take a single, quick phone call to her mother who worked at the bank, and everyone in town would know I was here.

Thank god my medical records were confidential.

I'd only been sitting in the consulting room for a few minutes before both Jessica and Carlisle walked into the room. I wasn't sure why she had come in, but I wasn't saying a damned word until she left.

"So Bella, what brings you in today?" his kind voice wavering slightly as he took a quick glance for some sort of bandage or cloth covering some form of injury.

"I think I picked up a bug or something. I had a cold for the first week or so since I got back, but I haven't been able to shake whatever this is." I smiled as he sat down on one of those weird wheelie chairs with no backs.

After answering a few questions about how I've been feeling and if I had been taking anything for whatever it was that I'd picked up, he handed me a specimen cup, and sent me to the restroom to do my part of the testing. Thankfully the hospital had upsized those cups so you had far less chance of making a mess of yourself and the container.

"Bet you she's faking whatever she has." I heard Jessica before I turned the corner.

"Nurse Stanley, please remember this is a hospital and not the bank. Patients confidentiality is taken very seriously here." Even I jumped at the sharp bite to nurse Cope's tone. That woman was a force to be reckoned with, I had even heard her snip at the doctors for their treatment towards the patients.

Walking back into the room, I wanted to walk straight back out. While I had been otherwise occupied the room had been set up with the needle and tubes to collect blood specimens. I'd always hated needles and the sight of blood, hiding in someone's arms so that I didn't need to see anything.

"Don't worry Bella, I'll make sure I'm finished as quickly as possible," Carlisle said as he led me towards the bed in the room. I could see the laugh he was holding back when he looked at my face.

Handing me a pillow and turning my head slightly so I wouldn't have to see at least, Carlisle got to work with the strap and needle. I jumped slightly as I felt the pressure of the needle on my arm before the sting of it piercing my skin. What felt like hours –but was probably only a few seconds –the band strap, and needle were removed.

"The blood results will come back in a few days." His soft voice causing me to look towards him… and the needle as it was removed from my arm. The shuffling of his feet and squeaky wheel of the cart he used helping me focus on something other than my stomach trying to revolt and empty itself all over the floor. It wasn't until the knock on the door and seeing Jessica's smirking face that I remembered the urine test.

"Thank you nurse Stanley," I turned to watch as Carlisle walked back to the weird stool he was sitting on. "Bella, I think I need to call in another doctor."

I sat up on the bed –not my best idea since the room was still a little unsteady –as he looked at the small slip of paper he'd been handed.

"Why, is it something serious?" I asked as he coughed slightly.

"I think it is, but it all depends on the situation. Can I ask you a personal question? Not as your doctor, but as someone I hope you feel you can confide in," I nodded watching his eyes once more drop back to the piece of paper in his hands.

"I know you and Edward broke up a while ago, but did anything happen between then and now?" in all my life I have never seen another person blush the way he was right now. I thought I was the only one who could hit that color so fast.

"You mean uh, romantically?" he was nodding before I had finished talking. "No, we talked and everything. Agreed to be friends when the weirdness wore off completely. But no we haven't… you know." And now I was sure I was matching his blush, or I'd surpassed it.

I watched as his shoulders dropped and he sagged on the stool. When Edward and I broke up, it was a mutual agreement. I knew both our parents were upset that we'd decided to go our own ways, but it was best. Both my parents still thought of him as a son, and I was pretty sure that would never change. I was just hoping the feelings were the same from his parents towards me.

"I'm sorry honey. It's just a fleeting thought that I guess I should have stopped before it started. The positive thing is I can tell you why you have been feeling so sick lately and not have to wait for the blood results." I sat there waiting for him to continue, feeling something; I wasn't sure I could name it.

It wasn't dread, or fear. Nor was it excitement or happiness. All I knew is that I basically shut everything out the minute the words left his mouth. The image of what happened driving back home hitting me full force. The night in the hotel room, the feelings that he evoked.

"Bella, you're pregnant."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight (other than the books and movies that is), nor do I own any right to the published or filmed versions of them. I do own a healthy mind, a crazy dog and am proud to have a unique family. **

**Thank you to the **_**Lovely Black Butterfly**_** for correcting any mistakes that I sent to her… I do love my comma's when it comes to writing… and the difference in terminology kinda messes me up a bit. **

**Now on with the story. The last we saw of Bella she found out she was pregnant. **

*****Please be warned there is some things in this chapter that may be sensitive to some readers (no sexual acts or language per say, but the emotions will be put through the wringer. You have been warned.*** **

I stood at the baggage collection still in a daze of everything that had happened in the last week, my small carry on hung on my shoulder as I looked for anyone I knew. Not that many knew I was returning to Texas. So much had happened and yet I still felt like time had stood still after I walked out of the hospital. I'd gone from a recent unemployed graduate having to live at home, to a homeless pregnant unemployed graduate crying in the arms of my ex-boyfriend's mother.

My father's face was something I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to un-see. Furious doesn't even describe how he was when he picked up the small pamphlet that had fallen out of my bag when I got home that afternoon. At first, he thought, like Carlisle, that the baby was Edwards. When he started talking about weddings and family honor, I had to step in. This was in no way Edwards' responsibility.

After I literally had to scream that Edward wasn't the father; everything was so much worse. His bellowing about how this would look in our small community, how it reflected poorly on his morals and ethics to have an unwed pregnant child; I thought that would be the worst of it.

"_If we have to, we'll send you away for a while. You can come back, and no one will ever know." He mumbled as I stood there, shocked at his words. This was my father, my dad… a man I had always thought as old school but never would have thought he was as bad as this._

"_Charlie, that's our grandchild." My mom's words were screeched, and I knew if our neighbors didn't know from my father's words, they sure as hell did now._

"_She's still young Renee, she can have more later." He turned towards the kitchen, no doubt trying to figure out where he could get the local nunnery's number without having to tell anyone why._

"_I'm not giving up my child," I whispered softly as mom looked somewhat relieved that I was speaking, "I can't do that."_

"_Excuse me! While you live in my house, eat the food I pay for; you will do as your told young lady." He yelled. _

"_Well, then that settles it then. I'm an adult now, hell I'm twenty-four now. I should be out on my own. Don't worry Chief Swan, I promise I won't be a burden anymore." I stood and headed towards the stairs, knowing that at least I didn't need to re-pack much since I'd only really unpacked my clothes. _

Shaking my head, I turned towards the conveyor belt as the bags from my flight started to appear. The plane had landed nearly an hour earlier than it was expected after filling at a ridiculously fast time and then something about good headwind.

While I waited for my bags to show, I looked towards the rest of the people waiting around for their luggage. Some businessmen were chatting about god knows what; all their technical terms going straight over my head as they laughed about some business going into financial ruin. A few younger people like me both returning to school or home after holidays and comparing their tans or hook-ups. That one caused me to look down at my still very flat stomach.

A bump to the shoulder and a mumbled apology I looked once more at the baggage coming through, spotting both of my bags coming around the turn. I hadn't even realized that it been more than a few seconds since I had moved towards them. As they came closer, I began to realize that there was no way I was going to be able to pull both of them off without a little help from someone. Sighing at the fact that I'll have to wait until at least the next rotation, I grabbed the first bag with both hands and pulled as hard as I could.

"Need some help, L'il Bit." A very soft and oh so wanted voice reached my ear as I turned to see Pete and Char standing behind me.

Dropping my hold on the handle, I flew into Char's arms as Peter stepped forward and grabbed both my bags and put them on the trolley he'd grabbed from somewhere. I didn't hold back the tears as Char's voice mumbled nonsense in my ears while holding me tight. I was sure we were making a good scene, but I just didn't care. I needed them, I needed this. Holding it in on the plane was tough as it was.

"He's an ass, B," Char whispered as we rocked back and forth.

"He's my dad Char. He's meant to be there for me, no matter what." I choked out as a fresh wave of tears fell down my face.

I felt Peter's arm come to rest on my shoulder before he turned us towards the doors. He didn't push, just kept an eye on everything going on around us. For a few minutes, I just let myself feel the comfort both of them were showing, soaking it in as if it were the air I needed to breathe. As the sounds of other people registered once more, we headed towards the car.

I felt as my body began to sag from everything that had happened this past week. I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. I needed sleep, and probably a good meal that I'd actually eat.

_After leaving my parents' home, I headed to the only place I knew. Knocking on the door, I waited, hoping that either Esme or Carlisle would open the door. It was still relatively early, and both could very much still be at work. I hadn't even thought that someone wouldn't be home. It wasn't until I heard the distinct sound of Esme's SUV come up the drive that I noticed that it had gotten darker. _

"_Bella, this is a lovely surprise. How are you, sweetheart?" her soft voice loud over the silence of their property. _

_I didn't stop the tears as I stumbled down the front steps to reach her. I could feel her apprehension as I collapsed in her arms. I was sure I wasn't making any sense as I mumbled about everything that had happened. _

_We stood there for a few minutes as she tried to unravel everything I was saying. Her hands rubbing my back as she calmed me down enough so we could move inside and out of the cold. She directed me towards the lounge as she headed towards the kitchen to make us both some hot chocolate. I could hear a few minutes later, the sound of her voice as she spoke on the phone. I heard her tone change from the soft sweet voice to the shocked and outraged momma bear I knew she could be._

"_Renee! How could he do that?" she all but shouted as I shrank into the seat, wanting to hide from everyone and everything but knowing I couldn't do it. _

"_No, she's here. She was so cold when she ran to me. She wasn't even wearing a jacket." She sighed as she recounted our meeting only a few minutes ago._

"_I don't think she'd want to go back even for her clothes…" I looked up to see her watching me, fighting tears of her own as I shook my head no. "She's more than welcomed to stay here for as long as she needs to. I'll call my assistant and have her arrange my appointments for the week."_

_I watched as she once more headed towards the kitchen, no doubt working on more than just the hot chocolate. Esme held the belief that if you were upset, you needed comfort food even if you weren't hungry. _

"_It's no problem, Renee, you know you're always welcomed here. I love Charlie, but he needs a kick in the ass right now," She sighed as she moved around the room. "Good, right now, the dog house is where he should be. The lounge is too good for him." _

_My attention was taken away from the conversation Esme and mom were having as a set of lights came up the drive. I could hear Esme ending her phone call as I watched with interest over whose car it was. A twisted part of me hoped it was my father, but knowing he was most likely still at home banging around the basement as he always did when he lost an argument with mom. As the buzzer from the garage rang through the first floor of the house, I couldn't deny the disappointment that it was Carlisle. _

"_I'll only be a moment, sweetheart," Esme said as I jumped at her reappearance. _

My heart lurched as Char gently woke me, I hadn't even known I'd fallen asleep once I'd gotten into the back seat. It took me a few seconds to remember exactly where I was and why I wasn't in the rainy town of Forks. I watched as Char tried her best to smile as she wiped away a stray tear that had escaped. She didn't need to say anything as she held the door open while Pete grabbed my bags from the back of the car. Instead, she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and walked me into her new home that she and Peter had bought just before we graduated.

"You're home now, hon, you have family here too, remember." She whispered as she nodded towards the front door where it swung open, and Edward stood at the door watching. I couldn't help but smile as he slowly made his way towards us. Between the three of them, I knew I had family. It wasn't DNA that made families sometimes; it was who was there for you when things went balls up.

"Come on, we've got your room set up somewhat. Well, as much as Char would let us." He laughed softly as he pulled me towards him.

Nodding, I headed inside as my friend—come, family, walked me into the future. I looked down, at my hand, as it came to rest on my lower stomach, where my little miracle lay growing slowly and healthy each day. Taking a deep breath, I made a promise to myself and my unborn child. Unconditional love and understanding are all they will ever see from me. I may be disappointed in their choices in life, but they will never know it. I wouldn't smother or raise a brat, but I would be there for everything they go through… the good, bad and everything in-between.

I needed to get my life back in order. I needed to get a job and a place of my own where I would raise this child. I'd also have to call home and try to make some kind of bridge between my father and me. I wanted him or her to have a relationship with their family; all of their family.

**A/N: Please do not hate too much on Charlie. I promise he is not the bad guy in this story.**


	4. Chapter 4

I hate doing this but A/N lovelies.

I have tried, so damned hard to rewrite this, but fighting writers block for so many years and not being the same state of mind when I first wrote this; well it's not the same. I loved writing this and I will continue to try to rewrite the story. I am not giving up, more that I don't think it's fair for you all to wait when I have the original still on my laptop.

So I have spoken to a few friends on Facebook. I'm taking their advice and reposting the original while I battle my way out of this funk that I have been in for a few years now (I seriously miss writing).

Look out for the title _"All I'll Ever Want Original story"_ I will post every day (as long as nothing comes up in my real life). There are 68 chapters in total. I will give tissue issue warnings as it does cover some very serious content.

ALL MISTAKES WILL BE MINE. I expect criticism as it is when I had no clue what beta's or pre-readers were… so yes it does get cringe worthy with the layouts. I will change that at least, but if I miss any please understand that it was originally written 8 years ago. It was my first dip into fanfiction.


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